I Hate Birth Control

Ok so the title pretty much explains it but since I elaborate on everything... I have pretty much always been on the pill. Which means I am lucky I only have three children cause I have the worst memory in the world. I don’t think I have ever had a week in which I remembered to take my pill at the same time every day. I think it is pretty much the worst idea in the world. If you are a mom, you are lucky to have time to pee, let alone remember “Oh I should go take my birth control just in case I decide to wash the spit up out of my hair, shave my legs, turn off the lights (cause God knows my stretch marks and saggy boobs are not encouraging) and pass out during foreplay!” So I started looking into other birth control options. There is always the old fashioned idea of condoms. But they make the hubby last longer and I am too fucking tired for a marathon sex session. Let’s get down to business and get it done. Plus I would have to go stand in line at CVS and buy them, probably running into someone I used to babysit for or one of my little sister’s friends. So that idea was quickly rejected. My Dr. really pushed the idea of an IUD. She told me she has one and loves it. Something about the idea of them shoving a little plastic thing through my cervix is just not appealing. And I just had two babies removed from uterus. It is finally vacant and I want it to stay that way. The idea just creeps me out. So for the last few weeks we’ve been pulling and praying but with the twins that is just too risky for my taste. So this week I went to the doctor and came home with a little plastic circle called Nuvaring. My doctor tells me I can leave it in during sex. All I can think about is DH’s penis jumping through a hoop like a circus animal. I think I will opt to take it out during sex even though that may dampen the mood. Me, “Hold on honey, let me dig this ring out of my vagina… ugh it’s so slippery, I can’t get it!” DH, “Let me help you.” Cue me spread eagle on the bed while DH tries to dig out my birth control. As you can see I am already skeptical about this. The Dr. also tells me I need to go straight home and put it in the fridge. What? My vagina isn’t refrigerated. But I do as I’m told and wait for my period to start so I can put it in. Which was today. So I’ll let you all know how it goes.